Sitting here alone

while you’ve moved on

as if time obeyed you

but refused to obey me

It feels like I’m carrying something heavy

that’s lodged in my chest

something I can’t let go of

no matter how many days and nights I try

And you

you let it all go

as if our memories were feathers

that you set free

We’re each trying in our own way

to live our own lives

but somewhere in between

there’s a longing

that I refuse to let go of

I walk around with your shadows

as if they were my own

and every time I breathe

it feels like I’m betraying myself

because I’m still waiting

for someone who isn’t waiting for me

And maybe this is love—

that kind of love

that doesn’t save anyone,

but just slowly consumes

until nothing is left

except the ashes of what we were

Sitting here alone

while you moved on,

as if everything between us

was just something you could throw away

without even looking back

And I—

I’m still carrying this shit

all that’s stuck in my chest

like a damn thorn I can’t pull out

no matter how hard I pull

You let it all go

as if our nights

were air and not love

As if I were something you forget

when the sun rises

We try to live our own lives

but damn, it really hurts

when the longing refuses to die

and keeps clawing away

like an animal in a cage

I walk around with your shadows

as if they owned me

as if every step I take

is a betrayal of myself

because I still

can’t let you go

even though you let me go first

And maybe this is love—

that ugly kind of love

that doesn’t save you,

but just slowly consumes you

until you’re standing there,

torn apart and furious,

and yet still not free

And now I’m sitting here

with my hands folded, wondering

why I still carry this feeling

even though you cast it aside

as if it never meant a damn thing

I’m trying to understand

what the hell I did wrong

other than loving you

so hard that I forgot myself

in the process

Other than holding on

when you were already walking away

Other than believing in us

when you’d already stopped believing

Other than staying put

when everything was falling apart

and you just walked away

So what did I do wrong?

Maybe everything

Maybe nothing

Maybe just that damn mistake

of loving you

more than you could ever

love me back

And that’s what hurts the most—

that I’m still sitting here

wondering

why I wasn’t enough

when all I gave

was my whole damn heart