He pulled up smooth in a Tesla, talkin’ 'bout gains

Said, “Crypto queens only—no time for lames”

Talked for an hour, never asked my name

Tried to pitch me NFTs like it was foreplay

Swipe left, babe—he’s a walking red flag parade

Oh, the guys you meet online

Profiles polished, hearts in decline

Swipe, match, crash, repeat

It’s a circus on the dating street

But I keep hoping, maybe next time

I’ll dodge the clowns and find something fine

He flexed in every photo, abs and protein shakes

Ordered grilled chicken, judged my cheesecake

Said, “I’m bulking now, so I can’t do wine”

Then asked if I’d film his deadlift grind

Swipe left, babe—he’s dating his own reflection line by line

Oh, the guys you meet online

Self-love’s cool, but not all the time

Swipe, match, crash, repeat

It’s ego served with no receipt

But I keep hoping, maybe next time

I’ll find a heart that’s not just a shrine

He quoted Rilke, sent poetic texts

Said he loved “deep souls” and complex sex

But when I opened up, he disappeared

Left me unread for a solid year

Swipe left, babe—he’s just a vibe with a vanishing act career

Oh, the guys you meet online

Smooth talk, then they flatline

Swipe, match, crash, repeat

It’s ghost town love with no receipt

But I keep hoping, maybe next time

I’ll find someone who stays through the climb

You asked real questions, laughed at my jokes

Held the door, no crypto, no fitness hoax

You texted back, you showed up on time

You made me feel like love’s not just a rhyme

Swipe right, babe—maybe this time it’s our storyline

Oh, the guys you meet online

Some are chaos, some align

Swipe, match, crash, repeat

Till one shows up and feels complete

Now I’m hoping, maybe this time

It’s not just luck—it’s love by design