[Lead In - Instrumental interlude]

Mythic Bard Battles of

Dungeons & Dragons!

Gauntlets of Ogre Power…

Versus!

Headband of Intellect!

Initiative.

Let’s roll.

[Male Vocals]

I crack skulls quick, don’t waste a word,

Strength so loud, my fist gets heard,

Tear through steel, watch castles bend,

One swing’s enough, your brain meets end.

All that math? Won’t save your hide,

Muscle’s truth—brains step aside.

[Female Vocals]

Though I stumble at first, I will soon ascend,

Each thought refined, precision without end.

I shape the arcane, I master the lore,

Your brutish antics are simply a bore.

Where you shatter, I calculate,

Every blow you land, I anticipate.

Your fists are blunt, your fury blind,

I’ll rewrite the battle—redesigned.

[Male Vocals]

I smash bookshelves, scatter your scrolls,

Rip through doors, crush thinking souls.

Wits are brittle, they snap, they tear,

Try to plan when you’re gasping for air.

Brains are glass, fists are stone,

Your fragile crown gets overthrown.

[Female Vocals]

I see your rage, a storm without aim,

Raw power’s fire, but knowledge tames.

Your swings are wide, your grip is crude,

Strength without purpose is nothing but feud.

I chart the stars, I weave the schemes,

Turning your fury to broken dreams.

The gauntlets roar, but silence soon grows,

For intellect triumphs where muscle falls low.

[Male Vocals]

Bones to dust, I end the fight,

Strength alone decides who’s right.

Your clever tongue? I rip it clean,

Brains don’t matter when fists are mean.

Final word, my knuckles sing,

Power rules—intellect’s nothing.

[Female Vocals]

You break and boast, yet you cannot reign,

For might without wisdom is empty, inane.

I guide the spell, I master the blade,

Your fury is fleeting, my victories stay.

I outthink the strike, I outlast the flame,

Every legend recalls the mind, not the maim.

Raise your gauntlets, swing till you tire,

But wit is eternal, and thought climbs higher.

[Outro instrumental]